When it comes to airfare sky is the limit. I wonder how the complicted fare chart will look like. Even the simple ticket used to look too complicated. Instead of being like a railway ticket where they give the fare and reservation charges, air ticket gives fare, then fuel charges then taxes the airport charges and what not. Why this fuel charges? Railways or buses and all runs on fuel. There they don't split the price like this. Cant the airlines do this. Or the otherway. Why not railways also start to do like this. Basic fare. Seat berth charges. Airconditioning charges. Not to forget fuel charges. Then fan charges, light charges. Of course the Lavatory charges. Don't laugh. Actually it is done in some airlines I think. If you want to go the loo you have to pay like the pay and use loos in railway stations and other public places. Here also airlines can do it. No-frill airlines can start with it. After all anyone who have no stomach problem can hold it till the planes touch down. The passenger in urgent need can elbow others and run to the one in airport praying that it is not occuppied. I used to do it in cinema theatres before the intervel.
A report had come in TOI and year or so back. Someone from South America ( I have forgotten which country there) to US. He likes his food and enjoys it. Mexican food was his favourite. Quite spicy. Not bland. Before boarding the flight he had been to one of those places where they were serving his favourite dishes. Food was very nice and he filled up to the maximum. He got into the plane in the economy class. After a nap he started to have some uneasiness in his stomach. It was not that bad and thought that it will be okay after some time. But it did not subside as he had hoped it will. He wantd to go to the loo. He looked towrds the loo in the middle of the plane and saw that it was occuppied. He turned to look back and saw that too was busy. He waited anothe five minutes and looked at the signs again. Still no chance. Both were red. Few more minutes passed. His need became very urgent. But both loos showed no green sign. His franatic eyes saw the the loos in First Class section was free. the green signal beckoned him. The only drawback was one of the cabin crew was standing at the passage door between the two. The passenger realised the old maxim that 'one can hold a battalion but not one's bottom'. He got up from his seat and went First Class-wards. When he tried to pass into that section the cabin crew who was guarding the entrance objected his intrusion mean for the better offs. Since the need was urgent and due to lack of time to explain everything, he elbowed the lady and rushed loo-wards and since there was no more obstructions he achieved his aim. But the women was not someone who pardoned someone who forcefully questioned her authority and promptly lodged a complaint with airlines and law authorities. What happened afterwards TOI did not give any details.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
A Hamlet Nation or On the Horns of Dilemma
If India is worried that if it does not attend the Peace Prize Committee will take umbrage here is the best solution. This has been tested by all school boys ( about school girls I don't know) and all the 'sarkari babus' and found never to fail. Take casual leave. Casual leave is something special which only school boys and sarkari b...abus know. It can be taken without any prior notice or sanction. Whenever one feels not in a mood to attend the drudgery of class-room or the musty smell of accumulated files, shoot out a casual leave application. No one can question it. There are standard reasons also. The most common one is 'suffering from fever and headache'. The only problem is that this fever business can be tested. In the case of the school boy if the mother takes it into her mind to put the hand on the brow of her son and declare that he is as cool as the bottom of a water pot then off you go to school. Modern mother may take the help of the cursed instrument thermometer. In case of babus these problems do not arise. But the best reason to give is diarrhea. No body has so far gone to the lavatory with the sufferer to test the consistency of the stool.(
A Hamlet Nation or Horns of Dilemma
Our India is at present a Hamlet Nation or Nation on the Horns of Dilemma. "To go or not to go, that is the question. Whether it is nobler in the mind to go to Oslo and attend the Nobel award for peace being given to Liu of China and suffer the slings and arrows of the same country or skip it." Should India spite Chinese Premier due next week. China has told without mincing words that it does not approve of any nation attending the function.
The best way for India is to reverse the position vis a vis with China. If the Nobel Peace Prize committee decides in its wisdom to award Peace Prize to Kashmiri separatist leader Geelani a Peace Prize, will India approve of anyone to attend that function. Will it say that we are not bothered and anyone can attend it or even coax 'come on buddy, go ahead, attend it by all means.'
No reason for this dilemma.
If India is worried that if it does not attend the Peace Prize Committee will take umbrage here is the best solution. This has been tested by all school boys ( about school girls I don't know) and all the 'sarkari babus' and found never to fail. Take casual leave. Casual leave is something special which only school boys and sarkari babus know. It can be taken without any prior notice or sanction. Whenever one feels not in a mood to attend the drudgery of class-room or the musty smell of accumulated files, shoot out a casual leave application. No one can question it. There are standard reasons also. The most common one is 'suffering from fever and headache'. The only problem is that this fever business can be tested. In the case of the school boy if the mother takes it into her mind to put the hand on the brow of her son and declare that he is as cool as the bottom of a water pot then off you go to school. Modern mother may take the help of the cursed instrument thermometer. In case of babus these problems do not arise. But the best reason to give is diarrhea. No body has so far gone to the lavatory with the sufferer to test the consistency of the stool.
So the Under Secretary in Oslo can send the casual leave application siting the reason of diarrhea. It is sure that the committee chairman will not come to the Indian embassy and check the lavatories.
There is one more method. . The Under Secretary can send his 'chaprassi' in his place. Committee cannot then complain that no one from the Indian Embassy attended the function. China also will be very happy.
The best way for India is to reverse the position vis a vis with China. If the Nobel Peace Prize committee decides in its wisdom to award Peace Prize to Kashmiri separatist leader Geelani a Peace Prize, will India approve of anyone to attend that function. Will it say that we are not bothered and anyone can attend it or even coax 'come on buddy, go ahead, attend it by all means.'
No reason for this dilemma.
If India is worried that if it does not attend the Peace Prize Committee will take umbrage here is the best solution. This has been tested by all school boys ( about school girls I don't know) and all the 'sarkari babus' and found never to fail. Take casual leave. Casual leave is something special which only school boys and sarkari babus know. It can be taken without any prior notice or sanction. Whenever one feels not in a mood to attend the drudgery of class-room or the musty smell of accumulated files, shoot out a casual leave application. No one can question it. There are standard reasons also. The most common one is 'suffering from fever and headache'. The only problem is that this fever business can be tested. In the case of the school boy if the mother takes it into her mind to put the hand on the brow of her son and declare that he is as cool as the bottom of a water pot then off you go to school. Modern mother may take the help of the cursed instrument thermometer. In case of babus these problems do not arise. But the best reason to give is diarrhea. No body has so far gone to the lavatory with the sufferer to test the consistency of the stool.
So the Under Secretary in Oslo can send the casual leave application siting the reason of diarrhea. It is sure that the committee chairman will not come to the Indian embassy and check the lavatories.
There is one more method. . The Under Secretary can send his 'chaprassi' in his place. Committee cannot then complain that no one from the Indian Embassy attended the function. China also will be very happy.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Artists and their Temperaments
When common man just like you and me, to be more clear, aam aadmi have their moods the artists have their temperaments. When you want to touch your bosom friend for say a hundred bucks or so it is always better to see his mood. If he happens to be an artist then it is always better to see his temperament. An Australian youngster learned this lesson at much cost.
I read this news item in Times of India few weeks back. They put interesting news like this under 'Heads and Tales ' which comes on the page where Ninan's cartoons appear.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/mad-mad-world/Man-charged-with-tattooing-genitals-on-friends-back/articleshow/6928539.cms
An Australian youngster wanted to have a 'Ying and Yang' to be tattoed on his back. Don't ask me what is a Ying and Yang. I will advise everyone not to venture to ask the youngster the same question. He will not be in a mood to explain it to you. What he has got on his back is not the Ying and Yang he had expected it to be but what his artist friend thought to be a Ying and Yang . They were poles apart.
The younster who wanted this artistic panorama on his back approached a tattoe artist who happened to be his friend. He explained his desire. It could be that the artist did not know what is a Ying or for that matter a Yang. Or it could be that his temper was not so congenial to tattoe the Ying and Yang on anyone's back even if he was his best friend. The reason also could have been this one. When anyone wants to talk about some thing about his private parts he don't tell it explicitly. He always do it by refereing to it as 'that thing' and like that. Sometimes they use some funny words and little facial expressions. So it could have been that the artist must have taken this Ying and Yang to be that anotomical part which every male or female tries to hide from the public view.
Whatever it is the artist gave this friend of his a spot of whisky, told him to strip to his waist and lye face down on the couch. He rolled up his sleeves and started to tattoe in right earnest. The poor guy dozed dreaming of the Ying and Yang being sculptured on his back. Little did he imagine what havoc has been made due to this bit of misunderstanding between the two friends.
In Kathakali also the make up of the actor is done more or less the same way. The actor take a peg or two of the best country brew and lie down on his back and entrust his face entirely to the deft hands of the make up artist. The make up artist do his job diligently. He never have a peg for himself and end by finishing a 'pachcha' on the face of a body meant for 'chukannadi' or any such odd combintions.
The artist friend after finishing his work and wiping his hands on his apron, patted his work-piece to get up. He took him to the bathroom and stood him in front of the mirror. He got a hand mirror and held it at his friend's back and asked his friend whether it is alright or not. The same way the barbers of our old days used to do after finishing one head.
What happened when his friend saw the Ying and Yang, I cannot tell. Even in the middle of nights I get up and starts laughing.
I read this news item in Times of India few weeks back. They put interesting news like this under 'Heads and Tales ' which comes on the page where Ninan's cartoons appear.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/mad-mad-world/Man-charged-with-tattooing-genitals-on-friends-back/articleshow/6928539.cms
An Australian youngster wanted to have a 'Ying and Yang' to be tattoed on his back. Don't ask me what is a Ying and Yang. I will advise everyone not to venture to ask the youngster the same question. He will not be in a mood to explain it to you. What he has got on his back is not the Ying and Yang he had expected it to be but what his artist friend thought to be a Ying and Yang . They were poles apart.
The younster who wanted this artistic panorama on his back approached a tattoe artist who happened to be his friend. He explained his desire. It could be that the artist did not know what is a Ying or for that matter a Yang. Or it could be that his temper was not so congenial to tattoe the Ying and Yang on anyone's back even if he was his best friend. The reason also could have been this one. When anyone wants to talk about some thing about his private parts he don't tell it explicitly. He always do it by refereing to it as 'that thing' and like that. Sometimes they use some funny words and little facial expressions. So it could have been that the artist must have taken this Ying and Yang to be that anotomical part which every male or female tries to hide from the public view.
Whatever it is the artist gave this friend of his a spot of whisky, told him to strip to his waist and lye face down on the couch. He rolled up his sleeves and started to tattoe in right earnest. The poor guy dozed dreaming of the Ying and Yang being sculptured on his back. Little did he imagine what havoc has been made due to this bit of misunderstanding between the two friends.
In Kathakali also the make up of the actor is done more or less the same way. The actor take a peg or two of the best country brew and lie down on his back and entrust his face entirely to the deft hands of the make up artist. The make up artist do his job diligently. He never have a peg for himself and end by finishing a 'pachcha' on the face of a body meant for 'chukannadi' or any such odd combintions.
The artist friend after finishing his work and wiping his hands on his apron, patted his work-piece to get up. He took him to the bathroom and stood him in front of the mirror. He got a hand mirror and held it at his friend's back and asked his friend whether it is alright or not. The same way the barbers of our old days used to do after finishing one head.
What happened when his friend saw the Ying and Yang, I cannot tell. Even in the middle of nights I get up and starts laughing.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Post Script to Mandarin
These are some of the fears of people if Mandarin is introduced in CBSC syllabus.
Lastly, learning Chinese in definitely unpatriotic and divide our country children in India into loving and pledging allegiance to Chinese, so much so that India will automatically become part of China in the years to come.
Sharad: Learning Chinese is not for any Indian, not even for those RAW and diplomatic personnel. The biggest fear is that once they learnt the Chinese language, these Indians would point the gun barrels at their own kind when a new war is waged between India and China. This would then be to India's disadvantage. Learning Chinese can make Indians be sympathisers or brain-washed, so Indians at whatever levels, should not be allowed to learn Chinese. Indians should only learn Indian languages.
Most Indians fear that by learning Chinese, India will eventually become a state of China when Indians have fully accepted their language with allegiance to them.
Strange ,,,,either the GOI is completely gone out of their minds or they do not understand how this will affect the security of the nation.It can be easily seen that its easy to change the demographics of a nation by pumping in people as is seen in the north east,then to make them dependant economically by pumping in cheap goods from across the borders and then now to pump in propaganda once they start to learn the language so as it compeletly control their minds and hence the populace of a territory in question, to be easily annexed...I assume they understand what they are doing in all respects,making this available in CBSE schools is making this available thru'out the world where these schools are, Chinese and Mandarin are never going to be a language for business for a long time in future even though china maybe progressing as a economic powerhouse.
While learning Chinese is already a trend in the U.S., this should not be followed by India blindly. India has all the reasons not to allow their kids to learn Chinese, which in worst case scenario of another Indo-China war, Indians who learnt Chinese may turn their gun barrels to their own kind and that could be fatal. Let us keep Indian languages intact for Indian children. Jai Hind.
There were some more interesting worries which I could not locate. One feared that if children learn Chinese then they will turn pro Chinese and turn agains us. As if the Chinese will hypnotise through their language. Somebody was worried about the trade in the North East area. They were all classic jokes.
Lastly, learning Chinese in definitely unpatriotic and divide our country children in India into loving and pledging allegiance to Chinese, so much so that India will automatically become part of China in the years to come.
Sharad: Learning Chinese is not for any Indian, not even for those RAW and diplomatic personnel. The biggest fear is that once they learnt the Chinese language, these Indians would point the gun barrels at their own kind when a new war is waged between India and China. This would then be to India's disadvantage. Learning Chinese can make Indians be sympathisers or brain-washed, so Indians at whatever levels, should not be allowed to learn Chinese. Indians should only learn Indian languages.
Most Indians fear that by learning Chinese, India will eventually become a state of China when Indians have fully accepted their language with allegiance to them.
Strange ,,,,either the GOI is completely gone out of their minds or they do not understand how this will affect the security of the nation.It can be easily seen that its easy to change the demographics of a nation by pumping in people as is seen in the north east,then to make them dependant economically by pumping in cheap goods from across the borders and then now to pump in propaganda once they start to learn the language so as it compeletly control their minds and hence the populace of a territory in question, to be easily annexed...I assume they understand what they are doing in all respects,making this available in CBSE schools is making this available thru'out the world where these schools are, Chinese and Mandarin are never going to be a language for business for a long time in future even though china maybe progressing as a economic powerhouse.
While learning Chinese is already a trend in the U.S., this should not be followed by India blindly. India has all the reasons not to allow their kids to learn Chinese, which in worst case scenario of another Indo-China war, Indians who learnt Chinese may turn their gun barrels to their own kind and that could be fatal. Let us keep Indian languages intact for Indian children. Jai Hind.
There were some more interesting worries which I could not locate. One feared that if children learn Chinese then they will turn pro Chinese and turn agains us. As if the Chinese will hypnotise through their language. Somebody was worried about the trade in the North East area. They were all classic jokes.
CBSE, MANDARIN AND THE PATRIOTIC MOB
My father had a cousin. Everyone called him KPN. He was very witty. He came to our house to chit-chat with father practically every day. He was giving home tuition to students who were weak in English and after the tuitions on his way back he used to come to our house which was on his way, have a cup of tea, a cud of betal and tobacco and spend an hour or so chatting with father. They talked on everything under the sun. Quite often he talked of olden times, that is their youths and such, we used to be with them listening to their talks of those times.
Once he told of the ending period of the World War II. Now in Kerala there are many Tamil Brahmins settled. We called the 'pattars' which could have been the polluted form of 'BHATTAR' just meaning a brahmin of learning. The aim of every bhattar was to send his son after he completes Matric to a typewriting institute to learn typewriting and short-hand and after completing the course directly ship to Bombay, Delhi, Calcutta or Madras where his mama or chitappa or some friend will be working, in all probability as a PA to someone. There were a steady demand for good stenographers in those cities and Kerala Bhattars could keep the supply line without any interruption. Bhattars were the best for the job. Needless to say the language was English.
As told it was the penultimate stage of WW II. Japan was coming nearer and nearer. They had ran over Malay States. The British troops could not hold. They were retreating. It looked that in a short time Japan will be over running India and the English will be eclipsed. Along with English the English language also will be eclipsed. Then the language will be Japanese.
One Bhattar got very worried. His son was in the Matric class. The examinations were due in two or three months. He had already talked to one institute master of putting his son there. But what is the use! The institute taught stenography and typewriting only for English. What is the use of learning English stenography. What will be required is Japanese stenography. The worried Bhattar asked everyone he knew whether anyone taught Japanese stenography and could not find anyone.
Luckily no untoward things happened. US entered and Japan went back. And English, both people and language remained. Bhattar boy studied stenography went to Delhi where his maternal uncle was there got employment and lived happily there after.
Had it been now and instead of Japan it was China the Bhattar need not have any worries. CBSE is planning to introduce Mandarin as a language like French, German etc in its syllabus from next academic year. This has made such a furore in the minds of all those patriots and have been pouring all sorts of nonsense in comments column of the Times of India. I too have pushed in my name and in pseudonym Septicus. I am not sure whether I used Chaupat Raja also. I am giving the link to the news item here and anybody interested can read it. The first one is News item with some comments. the second one all the comments
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Writing-on-wall-Mandarin-in-CBSE-syllabus/articleshow/7045200.cms
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/opinions/7045200.cms
Once he told of the ending period of the World War II. Now in Kerala there are many Tamil Brahmins settled. We called the 'pattars' which could have been the polluted form of 'BHATTAR' just meaning a brahmin of learning. The aim of every bhattar was to send his son after he completes Matric to a typewriting institute to learn typewriting and short-hand and after completing the course directly ship to Bombay, Delhi, Calcutta or Madras where his mama or chitappa or some friend will be working, in all probability as a PA to someone. There were a steady demand for good stenographers in those cities and Kerala Bhattars could keep the supply line without any interruption. Bhattars were the best for the job. Needless to say the language was English.
As told it was the penultimate stage of WW II. Japan was coming nearer and nearer. They had ran over Malay States. The British troops could not hold. They were retreating. It looked that in a short time Japan will be over running India and the English will be eclipsed. Along with English the English language also will be eclipsed. Then the language will be Japanese.
One Bhattar got very worried. His son was in the Matric class. The examinations were due in two or three months. He had already talked to one institute master of putting his son there. But what is the use! The institute taught stenography and typewriting only for English. What is the use of learning English stenography. What will be required is Japanese stenography. The worried Bhattar asked everyone he knew whether anyone taught Japanese stenography and could not find anyone.
Luckily no untoward things happened. US entered and Japan went back. And English, both people and language remained. Bhattar boy studied stenography went to Delhi where his maternal uncle was there got employment and lived happily there after.
Had it been now and instead of Japan it was China the Bhattar need not have any worries. CBSE is planning to introduce Mandarin as a language like French, German etc in its syllabus from next academic year. This has made such a furore in the minds of all those patriots and have been pouring all sorts of nonsense in comments column of the Times of India. I too have pushed in my name and in pseudonym Septicus. I am not sure whether I used Chaupat Raja also. I am giving the link to the news item here and anybody interested can read it. The first one is News item with some comments. the second one all the comments
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Writing-on-wall-Mandarin-in-CBSE-syllabus/articleshow/7045200.cms
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/opinions/7045200.cms
Saturday, December 4, 2010
If Wishes were Horses
This morning I read the news that Homi Bhaba's house is for sale. It is the prime or rather the primest loction in Bombay. The exclusive Malabar Hill. Not the Bandra, Juhu or such areas of filmy log. This is exclusive aristocratic locality. Why not go for it.
To start with I should get a wrecking crew and demolish the old structure and build one of my choice. I shall bulldoze it that nothing of the previous occuppant remains. One thing I have decided if I entrust the construction to one architect then only his concept will be executed. I don't want to regret that I should have asked another architect. So I have decided to call all the available architects in the market. Money is no problem. With so many oilwells and petros why I should bother. After all it is my money and I can do it in my own way. I don't mind if others criticise. That is all sour grapes.
One condition will be stipulated. No architect shall demolish what another one has constructed. But he will be at liberty to add anything to the existing one.
It shall have 27 1/2 floors. It should be above all neithbouring eyesores.
Oh before I forget. Since it is the venture of so many I intent to call it Ant Hill.
(To be continued at my liesure)
To start with I should get a wrecking crew and demolish the old structure and build one of my choice. I shall bulldoze it that nothing of the previous occuppant remains. One thing I have decided if I entrust the construction to one architect then only his concept will be executed. I don't want to regret that I should have asked another architect. So I have decided to call all the available architects in the market. Money is no problem. With so many oilwells and petros why I should bother. After all it is my money and I can do it in my own way. I don't mind if others criticise. That is all sour grapes.
One condition will be stipulated. No architect shall demolish what another one has constructed. But he will be at liberty to add anything to the existing one.
It shall have 27 1/2 floors. It should be above all neithbouring eyesores.
Oh before I forget. Since it is the venture of so many I intent to call it Ant Hill.
(To be continued at my liesure)
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